L's Stalkers
by NothingFromNowhereImNoOneAtAll
Summary: In which two persistant fangirls find their way to L's apartment, torture Light just for kicks, release a killer attack squirrel, and teach Light to do the Soulja Boy... all while stalking L. DISCONTINUED.
1. Of Stalking Fangirls And L's Shampoo

Alrighty then, hello one and all!! Yes, I've written more fangirlyness about Death Note. It's this thing between my friend and I: we both LOVE Death Note, and one day, I got the bright idea to start writing about our little...escapades. :D They're probably really stupid, but hey, that's our sense of humor. They're also not very well edited, I must say. I just wrote them between classes and changed whatever NEEDED changing. But I hope that they don't totally suck!

Anyways, both my friend and I are in these little stories: I am Brittany/Bitty; she is Naomi/Nomi. We're OBVIOUSLY L Stalkers, but I also love Light (when he's innocent and repeating Naomi and I's favorite line EVER: "I'm NOT Kira!!"), and she loves Matsuda.

Anyways, on with the show, and thank you for reading!! Please Review!!

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_**L's Stalkers**_

_**Part One**_

_Naomi and Brittany: YAY!_

The sun shone through the glassy windows of the tall apartment complex. Midday had just set in, warm rays of golden sunlight illuminating an empty room….

Well, it was _supposed_ to be empty, at least.

Brittany tried her best to suppress a soft squeal when she came across a small pile of clothes, consisting mostly of white cotton shirts and denim jeans. Now abandoning her original plan of silence, she squealed loudly, making Naomi, who was still in the living room, nearly jump in surprise. "NAOMI!! COME 'ERE!!"

Naomi rushed in the bedroom, still clutching to the half-eaten cupcake that she had found lying on the floor. "What?" she asked, huffing and puffing very slightly as she stepped in the doorway. "What's the matter? And besides, we're not supposed to be making so much noise, just in case!"

By now, Brittany had already removed her "Official L Fangirl" t-shirt for one of the white ones on the floor. With a huge smile, she brushed her brown hair out of her heavily lined eyes, looking at her "new" wrinkled white long-sleeved shirt. "I found his laundry, Naomi!"

Naomi immediately smiled, her white teeth lighting up the dark room (for Brittany had not bothered to turn the light on at her discovery, you see). "COOL!!" she exclaimed. She made her way over to the small pile of clothes that sat discarded upon the carpeted floor, picking up another shirt.

Brittany happily smiled, nearly vibrating with the joy at the fact that she was wearing a shirt that belonged to the Love of her Life. Lifting an arm to her face, she lightly sniffed the shirt's sleeve, her face beaming. "And it smells great, too!"

The smaller girl raised an eyebrow at the brunette's exclamation. Raising the shirt that she held, she smelled it. "Holy crap, he DOES smell great! It's like strawberry cupcakes!" At this, she happily snatched up a pair of pants. She still smiled, now making her way to the bathroom.

The strange girl wit ha new shirt remained in the detective's bedroom, not noticing her fellow stalker leave for another room. She was transfixed by the clothes that had been thrown carelessly on the floor. Man, she wanted to steal more….

Until she looked up and noticed that Naomi had already left the room. "Crap!" she yelled, hurriedly snatching up a pair of jeans before running out of the room to search for Naomi.

Brittany found Naomi gleefully rifling through different soaps and shampoos in the bathroom. She picked up a small bottle of hair gel. Picking up a hair that had stuck to the bottle, she examined it, holding it up to the light. It was… auburn. "Crap, this is Light's hair," she mumbled. Still holding the bottle, she looked at it for a bit. Then she shrugged, deciding that it _was _only Light's. Squeezing out a dime-sized drop in her open palm, the smaller fangirl lightly rubbed some gel on her Misa-style pigtails. She then set the bottle down, further exploring the bathroom.

The brunette followed suit, using the hair gel for her own straight and somewhat frizzy hair. Realizing something, Brittany smiled. "Hey, I bet that Light's head smells good! This stuff is great!" Naomi simply looked back at the spastic fangirl, slightly raising an eyebrow as if to ask what exactly was _wrong _with her. Brittany nervously laughed, reaching her left arm behind her head, anime style. "Ha ha, sorry about that…."

Naomi simply smiled in return, turning away to grab hold of another bottle, this one being one of shampoo. Noticing a black hair upon its surface, Naomi squealed. "This is L's bottle!!" she yelled happily. Refusing to let it go, she showed Brittany. The brunette, following fangirly suit, squealed as well, her happily closed eyes forming the classic anime half-moons.

The fangirls stayed there happily, Naomi with her new shampoo and Brittany in her new clothes (for she had now changed into the detective's jeans). They giggled and spazzed, thinking of new things to do in the apartment.

Until they heard the unlocking of the front door.

Brittany's eyes opened wide at the sudden metallic sound. She grabbed Naomi by the wrist, whispering sharply, "HIDE!!" They quickly ran to the bedroom (much to the brunette's pleasure :D), diving quickly under the large bed. Brittany held onto her clothes that she had traded for L's, Naomi to her beloved shampoo bottle.

And then they heard footsteps, the clinking of a chain, and a certain soft, eloquent voice saying, "Light, I swear, if Misa wasn't a suspect in our investigation, I'd be _elated_ if you stopped seeing her." The stalkers heard someone sit down on the large bed, drawing their knees up to his chest.

Naomi and Brittany spazzed in silence.

_**- THE END! Until Part Two…. **_

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**AN:** In part two, Naomi and Brittany meet Light. Poor Light, he has to put up with us... but he likes it, so HA.

And always remember...

Light's NOT Kira!!

...Yes he is :D


	2. Flaming Frozen Waffles Of DOOM!

Hooray! Two chapters, and it didn't even take me two weeks! Then again.. I wrote this one in February and merely had to type it up... Oh well.

Anyways, this is a continuation of the story! And just so you know, it all basically gets even _more_ random from here. And poor Light, we torture him so. So far, I have five parts written to this, and yes, there will be PLENTY more.

So enjoy! I hope that you like it, and reviews are MOST appreciated! Thanks for the reviews that I've gotten on Part One!! Thanks for reading, and remember, reviewers get Panda Cookies! If L is willing to share, that is...

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_**Part Two**_

_Naomi and Brittany: WE LOVE L!!_

Brittany awoke the next morning to the sound of running water coming from a nearby shower. She knew that Naomi was still hiding under Light and L's large bed along with her, and from what they observed while hiding in the tree next to the large building, Light usually showered last….

She sat up quickly with hopes of running for said shower. However, before she could jump to her feet and dart to the bathroom door, she hit her head loudly (and painfully) on the bed frame that they hid under. Naomi looked over at her wide-eyed; Brittany rubbed her sore head, which was now showing signs of a bruise. "Dude!" Naomi said in a harsh whisper. "Be quiet or else we'll get thrown out! AGAIN!!"

As Naomi uttered this last phrase, Brittany felt a foot sharply kicking her in the ribs. "OUCH!!" Brittany (mindlessly) exclaimed. "God, watch where your foot goes next time, you idiot!" She began rubbing her side, muttering something about a bruise forming _there_, too.

With a sigh of exasperation, the owner of the foot that had obviously kicked Brittany said, "Alright. Naomi and… spazzy friend who's name escapes me," (Brittany promptly scowled at this), "time to get out from under the bed. NOW."

Naomi sighed gloomily, rolling her eyes as she crawled out from under the large four-post bed. "Aww, man! That's how we _always_ get caught. Have a heart, Light. Have a heart." She stood in the corner of the bedroom, crossing her arms and casting an angry gaze at Light.

Brittany followed suit, glaring at Light as she picked herself up and off of the floor. Walking over to the boy, the brunette fangirl promptly kicked him in the shin, her eyes narrowed sharply as she said, "How does it feel to you?! And besides, my name is Brittany, KIRA!"

Light glowered at Brittany evilly in return. "I'm NOTKira!", he snarled, remembering why he hated these pesky fangirls.

Naomi raised a dark eyebrow, examining the auburn-haired boy, highly doubting his story. "Uh-huh, sure," she said flatly in return. Adjusting her Misa pigtails, she turned away from him and took a seat upon the large bed.

Light let out a sigh of frustration, rolling his chestnut eyes. Thinking of a way to rid himself of the problematic fangirls, he set his sights on Brittany (remembering her name for once in his life), who had just put her long, brown hair into Misa-style, pigtails, like Naomi's. Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "Why are you wearing L's clothes?"

Brittany simply smiled, kicking her left leg up behind her happily. "Don't they look good on me?" (Admittedly, they did.) She went to sit next to her fellow fangirl, drawing up her knees to her chest.

Naomi, who had a single thumb pressed to her dark lips, turned her focus back to Light once again. She opened up her mouth to speak. "So, Light, Brittany and I pretty much want you to back up off of L and go back to Misa. He's _ours_."

"Don't think that we don't know what you've been wanting to do to him behind closed doors," Brittany said with a devilish smirk. "Two guys bound by a chain, spending every waking moment together… things happen. And you know as well as we do how attractive L is." Naomi looked over at her friend, one eyebrow raised, as if wondering what exactly was _wrong_ with her. Brittany raised her eyebrows up and down suggestively, a smirk still playing on her lips.

The smaller fangirl simply sighed, shaking her head as if saying "I don't want to know". "Please excuse my friend," she said aloud. "She's a yaoi/shonen-ai fangirl." Brittany smiled innocently. "But seriously, whether you're planning to kill him, or… what Brittany suggested," (the brunette wore a proud grin of satisfaction), "you just need to stay away from our L."

Light yelled in protest, aggravated well beyond his rational capacity of calming himself down. "I'm NOT planning to kill L, and ESPECIALLY not that last one!!"

Light was then hit in the head by a surprisingly painful frozen waffle. "LIAR!!" Naomi accused with a scream, one finger pointing at him. Brittany readied herself to throw another waffle.

The auburn-haired boy sighed, knowing that he couldn't win with these two psychopathic fangirls. Figuring that it would just be easier (and less painful) to give up and let them finally meet L, he went over to the bed, sitting down in the available spot next to Brittany.

The brunette stared at Light with her heavily lined eyes. Unable to control her sudden and unexplained urges, she cried out, "SNIFF!!", while promptly grabbing Light's head and bringing it to her face so she could sniff his hair.

Light, now fearing for his dear life, pulled away from the fangirl's grasp, wide-eyed, angry, and baffled. "What the _hell_?!" he exclaimed.

Brittany smiled cheerfully. "Your hair smells good!" she replied merrily.

Naomi smiled, looking over at his soft hair. She reached over to pet it and ruffle it, laughing as she felt it's smooth and silky texture between her fingers. "Ha ha, and your hair is so soft, too!"

Light just scooted away from the both of them, one eye slightly twitching. Just then, they heard the water of the shower shut off. Naomi's and Brittany's eyes opened wide, realizing just _who_ would be coming out of the shower. And before Light could stop them, they ran for the bathroom, both reaching for the door handle, pulling it open.

_**- THE END! Until Part Three…. **_

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**AN:** And for the record, my friend Naomi and I mostly watch the English version of _Death Note _(but I also watch it in Japanese sometimes), so when we joke about Light's famous (in our minds, at least) line, the English voice (with the slight Canadian accent on the word "not") is the one that we hear. It's _hilarious_ to us for some reason. Not that I'm bashing the English voice actors: in fact, I praise them. L's voice is _perfect_. But the way he delivers that one line and how many times he repeats it... it's great! :D

Yes, Naomi DOES, in fact, have a thing for petting people's hair. It's fun for her, and also one of the reasons that she likes Light. His hair looks very soft...

No, I do not randomly go up to people, cry out "SNIFF!!", and sniff their heads. Haha, although I should... That'd be great!

Anyways, thank you for reading! Review if you wish (please review, I beg of you). And remember, Light's "_**NOT**_ KIRA!!"

Hahaha, poor Light. There's a whole new world of torture just waiting for him.


	3. Of Spastic Greetings And Forced Goodbyes

Why yes, I DID take the chapter title from AFI's song, "Of Greetings And Goodbyes". For those of you who noticed (/ recognize it) I totally love you.

Haha, it's me again! To be very honest, I'm EXTREMELY surprised that people are actually being alerted when this story adds a new chapter. It makes me feel so loved, as do your kind reviews For all the people who take the time to read this story and review it, I truly thank you! (hands each of you cookies... and a syrup-coated cookie for the Canadian.) :D

Seriously, I meant no offence to Canadians in my comment at the bottom of Part Two. No Canadians were harmed in the making of this story: by frostbite, hockey, or otherwise.

And I promise you, the Soulja Boy WILL BE COMING. I've already written it out; I just need to find the time toi type it. It will be in Part Five, so don't you worry.

Anyways, the normal disclaimers apply. If I owned Death Note, then L and Light... well, read another one of my stories. You'll get it.

Please read and review, and thank you!

By the way, this story takes place when Light has no memories of the Death Note. It's just easier that way (and he's so adorable with his big innocent eyes!)

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_**Part Three**_

_Naomi and Brittany: WE FINALLY GET TO MEET L!!_

The fangirls reached for the bathroom door, both getting hands on the knob as they pulled it open….

…And they both fell in as the person exiting opened said door, unaware of the persistent girls that had been plotting to join him.

Both hitting the white tiled floor with a loud _THUD_, Naomi and Brittany landed at the feet of the person. They let out simultaneous groans, both sore from smacking onto the tile face-down. Naomi first, then Brittany following, picked up their heads from the ground, straining their neck to look up at whoever had caused their fall.

And they finally saw him. They saw him in real life, _**not**_ hiding in the trees and staring through windows with binoculars; he was actually standing in front of them.

He was… beautiful. Really, that was the only was he could be described. Deep, dark, and penetrating eyes looked down at the fangirls, dark rings under them standing out from his milky pale skin. His raven hair was still wet, sticking out in all directions, beads of water dripping on the white floor.

His frame was slender- thin and lanky. He stood slightly hunched, just as he always did; his spine curved in hopes of his immaculate reasoning capacity to be at it's absolute highest. Since he was coming straight from the shower, he wore no shirt, his baggy denim jeans fitting loosely at his hips. He wasn't as scrawny as the girls had expected, either. He was lean, though he showed signs of well-defined muscle beneath his ivory skin.

Beholding the heavenly sight in front of them, Brittany and Naomi started crying, in shock of finding him to be even _**this**_ gorgeous.

The fair-skinned detective looked down upon the two sobbing girls, raising one dark eyebrow as he wondered what exactly had been going on. His clever mind quickly assessed the situation. Speaking in his breathtaking eloquent voice, he asked, "Are you two girls feeling alright?"

Having suddenly ceased their strange crying fit, Naomi and Brittany managed to stand up before the disheveled detective, mouths both agape, still staring in awe of his perfection. L, still perplexed by the girls' intentions, raised another eyebrow, swiftly calculating the probability of their next actions.

And true to his 77 percent chance, the fangirls abruptly tackled L to the ground, forcing him to hit the tiled floor. Squealing (and crying once again, I might add), Naomi and Brittany spazzed over him, each pinning his bony shoulders down with their hands.

The detective looked up at them, almost bewildered at how excited they seemed to be about even being in the same room as he was. True, he did have other fangirls, along with the occasional stalker, but these two were by _**far**_ the most persistent that he had ever encountered. "Excuse me," he said, managing to cut short their squeaks of delight. "But I would very much like to stand up and get off of the ground, if you do not mind."

Naomi and Brittany looked over at each other briefly, then nodding. They both (reluctantly) got up off of the detective, each grabbing one of his thin arms and pulling him up to his feet.

L ran a hand through his messy raven hair, examining the joyful girls that stood before him. Setting his eyes on the brunette, he raised an eyebrow. "You're wearing my clothes…" he mused.

Brittany squealed yet again, ecstatic that the gorgeous detective had acknowledged her. She ran up to him and hugged him, nuzzling her face into his bare chest and holding his waist tightly. "You noticed!" she happily proclaimed, her voice somewhat muffled from the detective's chest. "And now we can match!"

L couldn't help but smile at the squealing girl. He gently wrapped one arm around her as she continued to hold him and snuggle up to him. Looking over at the smaller girl with darker skin, he spoke, a faint smile playing upon his thin lips. "And I don't suppose you've raided my laundry as well?"

Naomi shook her head, unable to take her eyes off of the dazzling detective. "No," she replied, her eyes still glued to him. "I didn't…" Biting her lip, she thought of a question, deciding to just go for it. "Could I touch your hair?" she blurted out.

The detective looked a bit taken aback. No one had ever really asked him that, nor did he know of many other people that asked similar questions regularly. Shrugging, he nodded. "Well, I don't see why not…."

Naomi let out a piercing squeal, running up to him. She promptly started patting his dark hair, letting her fingers twist within the silky strands. "Oh my God! Your hair is even softer than Light's!" she exclaimed, hugging him tightly and snuggling up to his chest, just as Brittany was still doing. Flattered, L wrapped his other arm around her, both fangirls now sharing in his embrace.

Light (who, yes, was _**still**_ in the room) looked upon the three, _**completely **_confused with what exactly was going on. "What the…what the hell?!" he cried, standing up from his seat on the bed. "What are you doing? Ryuzaki, these girls are _**stalking**_ you! For all we know, they could be affiliated with Kira!"

The detective looked over at the auburn-haired boy, still softly hugging the fangirls. "No," he simply responded. "No, these girls aren't affiliated with Kira. I'm fairly certain of that."

Naomi looked back at Light, her eyes narrowing, still refusing to let L out of her grasp. "Yeah, way to go with trying to place the blame on other people, Kira."

"I'M _**NOT**_ KIRA!"

The smaller girl rolled her dark eyes, returning her full attention to the genius detective.

Light nearly snarled in frustration. "Alright, that is _**it**_! You girls are _**out**_ of here!" He violently stormed over to the group of three, pushing the girls forcefully off of L. Shoving them towards the door of the apartment, he threw it open. "Naomi and Fred, glad you could stop by, but _**KEEP OUT**_!" He promptly shoved them out into the hall, slamming the door shut in their faces.

"My name is Brittany, _**Kira**_!" the brunette yelled angrily through the closed door.

Light quickly opened said door. "I'M _**NOT**_ KIRA!!" he screamed, slamming the door shut once more.

The two fangirls sighed, sorrowfully walking away.

**ANDHEREISALINETHATINDICATESTHEPASSINGOFTIMEBECAUSETHELITTLESTARTHINGIESDON'TWORKDUNDUNDUUN!**

Almost as quickly as they had been thrown out, Naomi and Brittany were back to Square One: hiding in the tree that stood next to L's building. Since they branch that would have given them a perfect view of his floor had recently broken (due to a particularly dangerous trip by Brittany), Naomi had resorted to standing on the brunette's shoulders, spying on L's floor with high-powered binoculars.

Brittany, struggling to keep herself balanced, kept telling herself _**not**_ to look down (for she was absolutely terrified of heights). "See anything yet?" she called up to the smaller fangirl.

Naomi peered through her binoculars, looking for anything of interest in L's apartment. "Nope, not yet. Hey! Keep still! You're making us unbalanced!"

Brittany bit her lip, now fully aware of the squirrel that was attempting to chomp down on her ankle. "Ha ha," she laughed nervously. "Got it!"

Naomi kept looking. Finally, she saw something moving. Something…or someone… with blonde hair in cute pigtails… and she was holding L's hand….

Naomi lowered her binoculars, her dark eyes narrowing into an evil glare. "Misa…" she growled.

The squirrel at Brittany's feet kept scurrying across her shoes, making her squirm as she tried her best to shake it off. "Wha-what did you say?" she asked again, the squirrel now looking at her ankle hungrily, mouth open and teeth ready.

"I said that I saw Mis-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

And as the brunette lost her footing due to the squirrel's bite, the two fangirls went tumbling down.

_**- THE END! Until Part Four…. **_

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**A/N:** First of all, WHY I decided to have Light call me Fred... well, even I don't know that one. Another one of my random moments.

Haha, killer squirrels are fun .

And about Misa-bashing... Yes, there will be some. It's not TOTALLY horrible, but Naomi and I have a mutual dislike for her. However, in the final episodes, we can't help but admire her for her utter love and dedication to Light, no matter what. But while she is a model, Nomi and I think that she's an idiot and therefore make fun of her. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY THIS, I AM SORRY. Just scroll through; the story is kinda easy to catch onto... I think. That's if it's not running off with the random train that is usually my brain. Oh well.

By the way, can you consider something a crackfic if you're Straightedge? Please let me know.

Thank you for reading, and please review!!


	4. SECRET WEAPON UNLEASHED!

I'm baaaaack!! -Insert screaming in the background here-.

I am SO SORRY about taking so long to update! I just had a lot of crap going on... that, and I'm absolutely horrible at prioritizing. So, of course, I can't just update regularly like regular authors.

The standard disclaimers apply. Trust me, if I owned Death Note, it'd be somewhat of a yaoi-paradise. But I'll spare you from that in here. -smile-

Thank you so much for reading, and please review!!

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_**L's Stalkers**_

_**Part Four**_

_Naomi and Brittany: DESTROY MISA!!_

Light stood up from his seat on the couch as he heard a soft knocking upon the door. Crossing the room, he sighed, sincerelyhoping that Matsuda wouldn't try and tag along with him and L again. He had been developing a very bad (and annoying) habit of that- almost worse than him talking of "Misa-Misa" incessantly. Once at the door, he reached for the handle and turned, pulling it slowly open…

…Where he was promptly hit in the face with a frozen waffle.

Growling and glaring, he now beheld his worst (and strangest) enemies. The dreaded fangirls had returned. It was like a cheap horror movie. "Naomi and Fred, HOW the Hell did you manage to get back in here?!"

Brittany and Naomi simply stood in the doorway in front of Light, smiling and looking like they had gotten in a fierce battle with a tree… and lost. Brittany managed to pull yet another twig from her hair as she said, "We have our ways, Light… and we have our leaves." She brushed a few more leaves from her brunette head. "And why must you insist on calling me Fred?" she asked, scowling.

Light shrugged, still standing before them. "I don't know. I can never remember your actual name, but Fred just seems to stick. I'm always able to remember Naomi's, though."

Naomi managed to brush a handful of leaves from her short, black hair. "You can probably only remember my name because it's the same name as Naomi Misora, the FBI agent that you killed because you're KIRA!"

Light glowered vehemently as he yelled, "I'M **NOT** KIRA! And how would you even know that?"

Naomi smiled innocently in return, nodding. "Oh. Okay, Light. I can see that you're not Kira. I believe you."

The auburn-haired boy opened his mouth… then closed it when he realized just what the smaller fangirl had said. "You… you actually believe me?" he asked bewilderedly.

Naomi's smile quickly faded. "Nope," she said. "I lied."

Light scowled, glaring as he closed the door in their faces. He turned around… only to find the two fangirls standing comfortably in the middle of the large living room. He stared baffled, his chestnut eyes growing wider. Said eyes then angrily narrowed as he yelled, "How the HELL do you two keep getting in here?!"

Naomi simply smiled, doing all she could to further irk the boy with soft hair. What could she say? He was funny when he was mad. "As we've said before, Light, we have our ways." She then began to look around the apartment, examining the halls and listening for any annoying high-pitched giggles of a certain blonde slut….

Light raised an eyebrow, his eyes now curiously following the small girl. "What are you doing…?" he asked, though he knew that he probably shouldn't.

For, as they all say, curiosity killed the Kira.

Brittany walked over to him, her brown eyes large and innocent as she slightly raised the pitch of her voice to a more sweet tone. "We're looking for a girl," she said softly, "who talks like this and thinks that she's the greatest thing ever, right after you." She got very close to Light, resting her hands lightly on his chest. Brown hair fell into her face as she innocently batted her eyelashes.

Light's face turned red, unsure of what to make of the brunette fangirl getting so close to him. "Um…" he stumbled, getting a bit flustered. "Uhh… M-Misa, you mean?" he managed to get out.

Brittany immediately lost the cute act, backing off of Light. "Sweet, so she's here?" Her voice had already returned to its normal pitch.

Light's face fell, realizing that the cute brunette had merely been messing with him. "Why do I even bother…?" he muttered under his breath.

Brittany then skipped off, joining Naomi in search of their most hated enemy. Listening closely, the two of them could barely make out an annoying child-like voice….

"She's in there!!" Naomi exclaimed, pointing towards the door to the guest bedroom. She began to run towards it, Brittany following suit. Light walked behind them, unsure of whether he _really_ wanted to get into this situation or not.

Naomi and Brittany were flattened against the wall, one on either side of the door, secret agent style. "Okay," Naomi said in the barest of whispers. "Just remember, sneak attack, but make it BOLD. Don't scare him off, just her." Brittany nodded. "You bring the secret weapon?"

The brunette nodded once again, smiling wickedly. "Yeah, I brought it," she whispered back.

Naomi smiled, bright white teeth shining as she said, "Awesome!" She controlled the urge to clap her hands.

Light shuddered, as if he didn't want to know what the "secret weapon" was. Actually, he didn'twant to know. He silently asked himself why he was here again, his eyes darting back and forth between the cute but strange fangirls.

Ah, that was why.

Brittany took a deep breath, readying herself for the task at hand. Naomi nodded, silently opening the door by a crack. The two started counting down.

"…Three…"

"…Two…"

"…ONE!!"

Naomi and Brittany burst through the door, finding L reading calmly in a chair. Looking up from his book, he waved. "Hello again, Naomi and Brittany."

The two fangirls squealed softly before turning their attention to the blonde girl standing in the middle of the room. Misa's large blue eyes widened, staring at the intruders in a bit of overdramatic surprise. She had a few dresses laid out upon the single bed; she wore a frilly navy one with lace at the bottom and parasol to match. Her long yellow hair was tied up into two small ponytails at the top of her head- her usual fashion. If you asked either of the fangirls, they would have testified that her hair was really the ONLY cute thing about her. "Who are you two," she asked in a high-pitched voice that belonged to a whining five-year-old girl, "and why are you storming into Misa-Misa's room?"

Naomi practically growled. Brittany would've stepped back in shock, had she not been consumed by anger at the pop idol. Naomi rarely got angry, and when she did, she seemed pretty deadly. "No," the dark-skinned fangirl spat, "I think that the real question is WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH OUR L?!" She pointed one accusing finger at Misa; the blonde's eyes widened even more (if at all possible).

L picked up his head from his book yet again, disheveled raven hair sticking out in all directions. He raised one dark eyebrow, nearly smirking at the prospect of the fangirls calling him 'theirL'. His dark, omniscient eyes scanned the two girls, making them silently swoon under his beautiful and penetrating gaze. "Misa was merely showing me a few dresses that she bought today," he explained in his soft and articulate voice. "I assure you, nothing more was going on between us. You have no reason to worry."

Misa quickly interrupted the beautiful resonation of the detective's words with her own voice before the fangirls could truly relish it. "Yeah!" she said, her much-too-large eyes glittering. "Misa-Misa was trying on all her pretty dresses! Do you want to see them, too?"

Naomi heard Brittany growl, and her own eyes narrowed into a glare at the hated 'Misa-Misa'. "Alright, that is IT!!" she screamed, taking the annoying model completely by surprise (though that wasn't extremely hard to do in its own right). "Brittany!! Release the secret weapon!!"

"FINALLY!!" Brittany exclaimed. From, almost literally, out of nowhere, she produced a small black gym bag with something small moving inside of it. Grinning madly, she unzipped it, letting the open bag drop to the floor and giving whatever was hidden inside a chance to escape. She ran over to Light, crying out as she jumped for him.

Light, extremely flustered and confused by now, yelled out in surprise as he somehow managed to catch her at the last possible second. "What-what are--?" he tried asking, though the girl in his arms made him flush for some reason.

"You'll see," Brittany muttered darkly, a malicious edge of happiness in her voice.

And there, standing in the middle of the floor and waiting to attack, was a terrifying, ferocious, deadly, bloodthirsty…

…Squirrel?!

"You have GOT to be kidding me," Light uttered incredulously. "You brought a freaking squirrel?!" Brittany nearly smiled in return at the auburn-haired boy, her grin portending evil. It made Light almost want to shudder.

Misa beamed, reaching over to the squirrel. "AWWWW!!" she exclaimed, hurting the ears of all others present in the room. "What a cute little squirrel! It will look so adorable with Misa-Misa's Chocolate Brown Cocktail Dress™!"

The squirrel looked up at her, big black eyes filled with the utmost innocence as it sniffed the air.

…And then it attacked.

Lunging at Misa, the squirrel let out some sort of high-pitched war cry. Naomi could have sworn that its little beady eyes were glowing bright red. The Secret Weapon then began gnawing at Misa's ankles, making her cry out in pain.

"Aaaah! Get it off of Misa-Misa!" she yelled, trying her hardest to shake off the rodent that had attached itself to her… with its teeth.

Brittany let out a bout of evil, maniacal laughter that would have fit perfectly in any horror movie. Light, yet again, slightly feared for his life. He was just too pretty to die yet.

The blonde ran out, the evil attack squirrel at her heels (literally). Laughing loud and happily (and evilly, I should mention), Naomi pointed a finger to the door through which Misa had escaped. "And STAY OUT!" she proclaimed in triumph. She was smiling proudly as she turned to face L again.

"Well, I've never thought of sending an attack rodent after Misa," the detective muttered thoughtfully, "let alone a squirrel. Perhaps I shall utilize this tactic the next time she becomes uncooperative…." He looked back up at the fangirls, one thumb pressed to his thin lips. "So, Naomi and Brittany, how are you?"

The two girls softly screamed, almost vibrating in glee. They were happy- they were once again alone with the object of their utmost affections, no annoying blondes to get in the way.

That is, of course, until Brittany thought of something.

"But… but we're just going to, like, smother him if it's the both of us trying to talk to him," she pointed out, one finger at her lips in a very L-like fashion.

"Oh… yeah…" Naomi replied, her smile fading. She placed a hand to one of the Misa-style pigtails tied in her short black hair. "We don't want to suffocate him. I mean, we both love him way too much to let him die…." Here, she cast a very pointed glare at Light, who didn't seem to notice. Which was probably best.

"So…" Brittany continued, still pondering a solution to the issue at hand. L looked onward, intrigued by how the fangirls were going to 'spare him', so to speak. Light, still carrying the brunette (who had gotten very comfortable in her current position), groaned in exasperation.

The brunette bit her lip, computing an answer. "So… uh… do you want to… take turns?" she finally asked.

"I GET TO HAVE HIM FIRST!!" Naomi practically screamed, her face immediately brightening up.

Brittany smiled, happy to have thought of a solution. "Alright, then. You have a half-hour with L," she said. "After that, I'll have a half-hour. Light and I will be waiting in the living room."

Naomi squealed happily, jumping up and down in joy, rapidly clapping her hands. "Yay!" she squeaked.

Light sighed, rolling his chestnut eyes as he started to walk to the living room, Brittany in tow. "Have fuuuuuuuuuuuun!" she called back to them as Naomi closed the door.

L stared back at her, his large dark eyes catching a faint violet glow in the reflection of the lamplight. He looked to the nightstand that stood by his side, reaching for a box of Panda Cookies. He opened the box, popping a few of the small snacks into his mouth. Once he finished chewing, he offered the box to the small girl. "Would you like one, Naomi?" he softly inquired.

Naomi squealed yet again, happily taking a few Panda Cookies.

**THISISALINEYOUARETOTALLYJEALOUSOFTHELINEBECAUSETHAT'SWHATYOURMOMSAIDANDOHYESIDIDJUSTGOTHEREBECAUSEYOU'REJEALOUS**

Meanwhile, Light and Brittany sat in the living room, on separate couches. The brunette girl looked over at Light, biting her bottom lip softly. Shrugging, she crossed over to his side, taking a seat right next to him.

Light's chestnut eyes glance over at the cute brunette, trying to stop his face from turning red around her. He hurriedly looked away.

Brittany simply stared at him, her heavily lined eyes opening wider. She pondered… thought… tried to gauge his reactions….

But, of course, as she couldn't do so earlier, she couldn't control herself now.

"SNIFF!!"

"This is going to be a long damn half-hour," Light muttered bitterly as she seized his head to smell it.

_**- THE END! Until Part Five…. **_

* * *

**A/N:** Hahaha... that was fun!

Again, about the Misa-bashing. I actually like her a LOT more now. Then again, I'm further into the series. I admire her devotion and she can actually be cute sometimes. But in the Yotsuba arc (and anytime before that), she is damn ANNOYING. However, in general, Naomi and I both agree that we don't totally hate her.

Takada and Kira are another story... from which I shall spare you. (I absolutely ADORE Innocent!Light. I love him- he's so adorable! However, I HATE Kira!Light and just want him to die by being impaled on a metal spike. Because I'm just that morbid).

And am I making Light fall in love with me? ...Possibly. Hey, Matsuda's gonna show up sooner or later for Naomi. Do I think that Light would like me if I actually met him? HELL NO- he'd be running in the other direction.

-evil cackle- I love my imagination.

And stay tuned, because the next chapter is one that many of you have been wating for. Let's just give you this subtle hint...

"YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!"

-yet another evil cackle- Again... POOR, poor Light.

Thank you SO MUCH for reading, and remember- REVIEWERS GET PANDA COOKIES!!


	5. Of Squirrel Stalkers and Soulja Boy

I OWN NOTHING!! Sadly... -sighs-.

Author's note at bottom.

And now, without further ado... L's Stalkers, Part Five, and the scene that many of you have been waiting so patiently for.

* * *

_**Part Five**_

_Naomi: Yay!_

_L: Panda Cookie?-offers box-_

_Brittany: -hugs Light- You know you love me!_

_Light: -curse vehemently-_

Light was seated upon the couch, one elbow propped up on the arm, head resting languidly on his hand. He ran his free hand gently through his silky, auburn hair, chestnut eyes fixating upon the wall that faced him.

He would ignore the raving fangirl and keep himself out of trouble if it killed him. Strange choice of words, but the principle remained.

Brittany sighed, getting a bit impatient with the half-hour wait. Thirty minutes, and she would get to see L… but it just seemed like such a long time. Her brown eyes flickered up to the clock upon the wall. Only three minutes had passed. Two minutes since Light had decided to not speak to her (honestly, the auburn was so touchy about his head- couldn't he see that it was a display of the brunette's affection?). Sighing again, she slunk into the couch, blowing brown hair that fell into her eyes away.

And great, now she was hungry.

Glancing over at Light, the fangirl decided to test the strength of his 'vow of silence'.

"Liiiiiiiiiiight," the fangirl crooned. The boy didn't even glance in her direction. She sighed, deciding to be more direct. "Light, will you get me a cookie?"

Obviously taken aback by the girl's sudden (and odd) outburst, the auburn-haired boy opened his eyes wide in surprise, breaking his fixed concentration on the wall. Turning to face her, he bewilderedly asked, "……What?!"

Brittany looked as sweet and as innocent as she could possibly manage, her deep brown eyes practically sparkling as she looked up at him. "Will you please get me a cookie?" she asked, making sure to emphasize her puppy dog eyes. "I'm hungry, and we'll be waiting a while, so…. But, I mean, if you don't WANT to… then that's okay…." She trailed off, looking forlornly at the carpet.

The auburn-haired boy then made a fatal mistake. He looked at the puppy dog eyes. Dammit, he couldn't resist those eyes. He groaned, mentally slapping himself for even considering the possibility of doing the fangirl's bidding. "Sugar or chocolate chip?" he groaned acrimoniously as he got up from the couch and began walking towards the kitchen.

"Chocolate chip, please!" Brittany piped up as a slightly evil smile began forming upon her lips. She could have some fun with this….

**THISISALINEYOUR'ETOTALLYJEALOUSOFTHELINEBECAUSETHAT'SWHATYOURMOMSAIDANDOHYESIDIDJUSTGOTHERE'CUZYOU'REJEALOUS**

After they had finished their Panda Cookies, L set the empty box upon the carpeted floor. Looking back over to an ever-happy (and vibrating with glee, the detective noted) Naomi, he cocked his head to the side, raven hair falling into his dark eyes as he pressed a thumb to his lips.

The dark-skinned fangirl squealed yet again, her happily closed eyes forming classic anime half-moons. "Oh my God!" she managed to get out between her squeals, her voice still high-pitched and ecstatic. "You have no idea how cute you are when you do that!"

The detective allowed himself to smirk, though he was still completely unaware of what exactly was attractive about him to the small fangirl. But, then again, he was still attempting to try and gauge her reactions, and she somehow managed to surprise him. He shrugged the idea off, averting his attention back to Naomi.

Naomi looked back at L, trying her very, very hardest not to run over to his chair and smother him in an embrace. As she said earlier, she loved him too much to let him die. Barely containing her obvious enthusiasm, the fangirl got an idea. "Can you calculate something?" she asked, her dark eyes opening wide. "Just something small! Oooh! Calculate the probability of Light being Kira! Please?" Naomi was almost begging; her hands clasped together in front of her as she pleaded.

L looked down at the floor, his dark eyes focusing on the Berber carpet as he thought. In an instant, he picked up his head, gazing back up at Naomi. "As of right now," he began, "the probability that Light Yagami was, or is, in fact, Kira is 93 percent."

Naomi squealed happily as she clapped, laughing girlishly (and, by now, not caring how fangirly and mentally challenged she may have seemed to the genius detective).

Suddenly, "Alumina" by Nightmare played, only with a slightly digital undertone. It was the ring of a cell phone. L, without missing a beat, reached into his left pocket, removed the ringing phone, and answered it, holding it delicately to his ear. Naomi looked on with interest at his 'conversation' (which basically consisted of L nodding every now and then while uttering the occasional 'yes'). Finally, he said "Alright then. I expect to see you soon." He hung up the phone with one swift motion and then looked at the fangirl, who was still watching him. "That was Matsuda," he said causally. "He'll be up here shortly."

Naomi let out a piercing squeal of delight.

**THISISALINEYOUR'ETOTALLYJEALOUSOFTHELINEBECAUSETHAT'SWHATYOURMOMSAIDANDOHYESIDIDJUSTGOTHERE'CUZYOU'REJEALOUS**

Light Yagami, on the other hand, was not enjoying himself. Not in the slightest. This was main painfully evident as Brittany futilely tried, once again, to teach him how to do the Soulja Boy.

"No, no, no, no, NO, Light!" Brittany commanded again, brushing brown hair out of her heavily lined eyes. "The song says that you have to 'crank back THREE times from left to right'! Three times, Light! You've been cranking back four times!" She put her hands on her hips, standing in a better position to bark out orders. "And don't even get me started on your Superman!"

As you can see, Brittany was extremely proud of her ability to do the Soulja Boy. Being a dorky white girl with absolutely no rhythm whatsoever, she was proud to say that she had mastered at least this dance. And she was not about to let Light ruin her instruction.

The auburn-haired boy narrowed his eyes sharply at the brunette. Groaning loudly, he then cast a Kira-Worthy Death Glare™ at the floor, trying his hardest to review the damn steps in his head. His hands balled up into fists as he battled his frustrations.

"Alright. You ready, Light?" Brittany asked the teen for what must have been the sixth time as she reached for the 'Play' button. Light nodded sullenly as the song started.

"YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!"

With a prominent scowl of absolute misery on his face, Light struggled to follow along with the steps. It all started with that stupid move with criss-crossing the feet (where in the hell anyone thought of that as a dance, Light didn't know). Then everything else fell horrendously out of place. His feet were out of rhythm, his Superman was much too late, and he couldn't even remember how many times (or even in which direction) that he needed to 'crank back'. Finally deciding to just quit while he was behind, he looked over at the brunette in anger (and, of course, she was doing it perfectly).

Now, usually, Light was extremely competitive. And he also didn't like to use harsh or possibly offensive language. But this? This was just retarded.

Brittany suddenly stopped in the middle of the second chorus, whirling around to face the glowering auburn-haired boy. "Dude!" she exclaimed, her arms stretched out. "Why'd you stop?!"

Light groaned again, his usually flawless complexion turning beet red with exasperation. "I couldn't do the damn dance!" he spat. "And, if you ask me, it's completely and totally idiotic! I don't know what makes it so entertaining to you people! I don't care if Soulja Boy Tell 'Em can do it better than me, and I certainly do not want to 'Superman that hoe'!" Unless, of course, the brunette was the 'hoe' in question. But Light decided to skip over that little detail.

Brittany bit her lip, looking at the floor. With her Misa hair, she looked extremely cute and innocent. Light struggled to look away; he kept trying to tell himself to be angry. "I guess you're right, Light…" she mumbled softly. She looked back up at Light, her brown eyes wide and innocent. "I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have forced it on you."

Light sighed, somehow unable to stay angry at the brunette (with whom he was obviously infatuated). Don't worry about it," he muttered. "Sorry about yelling at you."

"It's okay." Brittany looked over at the couch, staring past it as though it were invisible- like she were in deep thought. She bit her bottom lip, staying silent for a while. Light watched on.

Finally, after much thought and deliberation, she decided to speak again. "So, do you want to learn how to Pop, Lock & Drop It?"

That was it. Light's vehement glare had returned. "I hate you, even though you are hot."

And as soon as the words passed his lips, he wished he could rewind time. Because oh God, he had made a huge mistake.

**THISISALINEYOUR'ETOTALLYJEALOUSOFTHELINEBECAUSETHAT'SWHATYOURMOMSAIDANDOHYESIDIDJUSTGOTHERE'CUZYOU'REJEALOUS**

A soft knock fell upon the door of the secondary bedroom, making Naomi (yet again) shriek with delight.

L smirked, using this chance to survey the small girl's somewhat abnormal behaviour. Obviously, this girl was both infatuated with him and Matsuda, which was not uncommon (Matsuda was once called 'adorably incompetent' by L's assistant Wedy, though whether or not she relied more upon the insult or the compliment, he didn't know or mention). However, judging by the intense enthusiasm with which she regarded L, it seemed as though the fangirl loved the detective most of all. But it also seemed as though the girl would gladly jump at a chance with Matsuda if the detective were… unavailable, of sorts.

"That's probably Matsuda at the door right now," L mused softly, one thumb pressed to his bottom lip. "If you would like, you may be the one to answer the door for him." The detective knew that Naomi would love to be the one to greet Matsuda, so he decided to give her a hint.

"Ryuzaki?" a high-pitched male voice came from the other side of the bedroom door. "Can you please let me in? Light and some strange girl are trying to do some weird dance thing, and I guess he can't do it, so he's getting really angry, and you know how he's kind of scary when he's angry, and so just PLEASE let me in!" Rapid knocks fell on the door coupled with the man's pleading.

Naomi started giggling as she practically ran for the door, both arms outstretched and reaching for the metal handle, nearly tearing open the door when she got a grip on it. Letting out a combination of a giddy laugh and shriek of delight, she jumped up and down, clapping her hands. "MATSUDA!!"

Matsuda stood in the door frame, his dark eyes wide at the obviously overjoyed (and undeniably cute) girl. His pale face immediately broke into a fierce blush as he struggled to get some words out. "Ha ha, hi there! Um, I was wondering, could I please speak to Ryuzaki? Well, not to interrupt anything, if you were talking to him, I mean! But if you're not, then I have something that I really need to talk to him about. Oh, not to ignore you! I would love talking to you! You seem really nice and you're kind of cute, and—" He stopped his rambling, realizing that he must have sounded like a complete and total idiot. Groaning loudly (in typical Matsuda fashion), he hung his head, black hair hanging in front of his eyes. "Oh… can I just talk to Ryuzaki, please?"

Naomi squealed (according to L's count, for the forty-second time that night), thinking that Matsuda's display of clumsiness to be utterly adorable. Running at him, she outstretched her arms and captured him in an embrace. "You're so CUTE!!" she cried, snuggling up to him. The former police officer turned an even brighter shade of red (if at all possible). He gently hugged the small fangirl back.

L spoke, breaking Matsuda's concentration on the cute girl that was hugging him. "Yes, Matsuda? You did have a reason for coming here other than meeting the Light's and my company," (L used the word 'company' very liberally), "did you not?"

Matsuda frowned, reluctantly reverting his attention back to the enigmatic detective. Regardless of the fact that he wasn't looking at her, she continued to hug him (he was her 'police boyfriend', as she called him).

Said 'police boyfriend' started speaking, his high-pitched voice sounding much more serious. "Well, yes, Ryuzaki. It's actually about Kira. We were looking at some of Yotsuba's files, and we think that we might have a lead. Based on what Namikawa said and the deductions that both you and Light have come to—"

"Light's Kira," Naomi interrupted, one finger raised in a matter-of-fact gesture. "Trust me."

The former police officer that held her gaped, incredulous at her assumption. He looked down at the girl; L watched him curiously. "What-what do you mean? He can't be! He;s one of the most valuable members of the Task Force! He's helping us to CATCH Kira! He's not—!"

"I know, I know," Naomi said, interrupting the man that she was hugging. "I know, he's 'NOT Kira!'". She imitated Light's frustrated voice perfectly. Once again (this time in her normal voice), she said, "But trust me on this- my friend and I should know." She then pointed to the word 'Stalker' on her 'Official L Stalker t-shirt.

L nodded in agreement, running a pale and spindly hand through his dark raven hair. Naomi nearly swooned at the attractive gesture. "To be honest, I agree with Naomi. It all makes too much sense, even if he truthfully doesn't seem to be aware of it now." He shifted in his chair, toes gripping the edge of the chair's cushion. "But, of course, Matsuda, you already knew this."

Matsuda looked back and forth between the two pairs of dark eyes that had latched onto him. "I-I know, but Light-he-you…." He looked down at Naomi yet again, his curiosity getting the better of him. "…What do you mean, you're 'a stalker'?"

Naomi beamed, white teeth glittering. "Well, you know that tree right outside the building?" she asked innocently. Matsuda nodded, still a bit confused. "Well, my friend, Brittany, and I hide in that tree and watch L through out binoculars."

The former police officer stared at the cute, dark-skinned girl in disbelief. "But… but I thought that you were squirrels!"

The girl nodded. "Yeah, we get that a lot."

"Actually, they do enjoy to utilize squirrels as preferred 'weapons', you could say," L put in, returning that single thumb to his lips. Naomi swooned as Matsuda looked on it a bit of jealousy, still pondering what other types of 'squirrels' were left to scamper in that huge tree.

**THISISALINEYOUR'ETOTALLYJEALOUSOFTHELINEBECAUSETHAT'SWHATYOURMOMSAIDANDOHYESIDIDJUSTGOTHERE'CUZYOU'REJEALOUS**

"Ha ha, so you think I'm hot?" Brittany asked, her black-lined eyes glittering as she smirked. "Seriously?"

Light was in Hell. Here he was, now sitting on the couch, trying his very best to escape the brunette fangirl that was perched on top of him, interrogating him because he had let it slip that he thought she was hot. Not only did Light refuse to being forced into admitting his attraction to someone torturing him, but if Misa found out…. He shuddered at the very thought.

"Well? Do you?" Brittany asked again, her deep brown eyes attempting to penetrate his barrier of secrecy. She was nearly sitting in his lap, knees trapping him on either side of the boy's legs, almost straddling him. Her hands pinned his shoulders to the back of the couch. The fact that her pose looked extremely suggestive didn't even cross her mind. She pressed onwards. "Or are you trying to say that you lied?" Her face fell into a pout, dark eyes resembling a sad puppy's.

Light, on the other hand, was very aware of the suggestive stance that the brunette took, causing him to flush out of either embarrassment, awkwardness, or perhaps because a part of him desperately wanted her pose to be intentional…. He wasn't quite sure, to be honest, and he wasn't about to analyze his thoughts to find out. He shook it off, trying to find an answer to the girl's pressing questions. "Look, it's not like I don't think that you're attractive!" he flustered, his already flushing face turning a deeper shade of red. "I just—"

"You'd just never be caught dead with a freak like me," Brittany offered matter-of-factly. She cocked her head to the side, looking innocent and adorable. "Right?"

"No, no!" Light interjected, his heartbeat still increasing. It's not like that! I'd love to be with you, and I didn't lie when I said that you were hot!" …He froze, wishing that someone would just kill him now so he didn't keep revealing things to the pretty fangirl.

The things he did for chivalry.

The corners of the girl's mouth turned upwards into a smile, straight white teeth almost making Light ogle at her. "Oh my God," she said quietly, still smiling. "You think that I'm hot, and you totally love me! Ha, do you know how RARE that is?! No one loves me! Well...except for you now!" Her eyes were large and sparkling as she held back a giggle.

"Shut up," Light muttered. He looked away childishly, not meeting the brunette's gaze in fear of saying something else moronic. His blush didn't go away, still registering the brunette's hands on his shoulders.

After a brief moment of silence, Brittany spoke up. "So does this mean that my name's not 'Fred' anymore?"

Light looked up quizzically. "Um… yeah. Sorry about calling you Fred… Brittany."

The brunette smiled. "Yay!" she exclaimed, making the auburn-haired boy somehow blush harder than before. "Because now, I know what that means."

Light raised an eyebrow, almost afraid of what she meant. "And… what would that be?"

No. Scratch that. Light was afraid. He was scared out of his mind.

Brittany merely smiled, scaring Light even further. The auburn-haired boy bit his bottom lip, waiting for the worst to come.

And then she started to sing.

"DONT'CHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME?" She threw in a few small dance moves, such as the cabbage patch, which only served to make Light even MORE uncomfortable. As if that was possible. Brittany found a way.

"Oh **(censored)** no," Light muttered as he subconsciously agreed with the song.

"DON'TCHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS A FREAK LIKE ME? DON'T'CHA? DON'T'CHA, BABY? DON'T'CHA?" Brittany's voice grew louder and happier as she continued to sing and dance, Light still blushing furiously, unable to escape the fangirl.

And amidst the singing came an annoying high-pitched voice, saying, "Liiiiiiiiiight? Misa-Misa doesn't have a squirrel attacking her anymore!"

And before the pair on the couch could do anything, Misa walked into the living room, beholding a very suggestive sight indeed.

_**- THE END! Until Part Six…. **_

* * *

**A/N:** TEEHEHEHEHEHE!! I hope that you all enjoyed that. I know I enjoyed writing it!! Yes... poor Light. He has no rhythm.

I do not own "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" by Soulja Boy Tell 'Em. Nor do I own "Dont'cha" by The Pussycat Dolls. Trust me, if I did... I'd be freaking RIIIIIIICH!! But... I'm not. -sigh-

By the way, I may or may not update this story soon. I still have to finish Part Six, and I've recently found myself preoccupied with writing TWO MattXMello oneshots. One funny (with no yaoi), and one angst (yaoi? YES PLEASE!) Just to let you know.

Again, thank you to ALL of those who follow this story and to all those who review!! Thank you guys so much. Seriously, Naomi, L, Matsuda (awww, Matusda!), me, and even LIGHT all love you.

Light: No I don't!!

Me: Yes you do. Say you love them NOW!

Light: -scared- Okay, okay! I love them!

Good Light... thank you, and Light does the Soulja Boy for reviewers!!

Light: I WHAT?!

Me: -laughs evilly-


	6. Of Voice Changers and Catfights

Okay- I've SERIOUSLY been slacking off on this. My author's note will be at the bottom, so as not to bore you guys.

**DISCLAIMER!**I don't own Death Note... trust me, it's better that I don't. XD So count your lucky stars, buddy.

* * *

_**Part Six**_

_Naomi: YAY! –anime hearts sparkles stars as she hugs Matsuda and L-_

_Matsuda: -laughs nervously while trying not to trip over his own two feet-_

_L: I want more panda cookies..._

_Misa: -grabs Light- Light's MINE!_

_Brittany: -grabs Light- My Soulja Boy buddy!_

_Light: Where's a bridge to jump off of when you need one…?_

Now all sitting on the large bed, Naomi was hugging both Matsuda and the genius detective whose name was printed upon her shirt. Each time one of them even opened their mouth, she let out soft squeals of delight.

L sat in his usually fashion, his spine curved in a perfect arch, knees drawn up to his chest. A single pale thumb was pressed against his thin lips, tousled raven hair falling into obsidian eyes, contemplating the newest developments of the Kira case… and the fact that he was craving more Panda Cookies. He glanced over wistfully at the box lying empty upon the Berber carpet. Sighing, he decided that after his half-hour session was up, he would go to the kitchen and find something to eat. He still had a half-eaten cake in the refrigerator… perhaps with some extra cherries? Yes... yes, he liked the way his plan sounded.

Matsuda, on the other hand, was going through a strange mixture of emotions. Awkwardness, of course, was nothing new for him. He was strangely (and pathetically, might I add) used to this feeling. But he also felt so… giddy. Well, yes, he was usually happy and light-hearted, but this was somehow… different. He felt like laughing and… well, he wasn't sure if _skipping_would be the right action… but still. He happily had an arm wrapped around the small, adorable fangirl, blushing more and more each time she squeaked after he talked.

Naomi squealed (according to L's running count, for the eighty-first time that night) after L muttered something about cake and cherries. Tightening her grip on both detective and police officer, she brought them closer to her, snuggling up to the both of them. She sighed, reflecting upon the last twenty-five minutes of her life- the time spent with Matsuda and L. In other words? The _best_ twenty-five minutes of her entire life.

But it would have to end all too quickly. Brittany was promised a half hour with L after Naomi's time was up. And after that, the small fangirl wasn't quite sure of what would transpire. She wanted more time with L and Matsuda- that much she was absolutely sure of.

But what could she do?

Then, like a flash as blinding as Light Yagami's shining hair (the man, admittedly, had _gorgeous_ shiny hair- Naomi could attest to that much), it hit her.

Smiling, she turned back towards L (not noticing the look of disappointment flash upon Matsuda's face) and asked what had just occurred to her. "Hey, L?"

"Ryuzaki," L corrected as he shifted ever so slightly in his seat to face the fangirl more directly. "But, yes?"

Naomi nodded. "Ryuzaki. Right. Sorry about that. But anyways, I was wondering… if you could please teach me and my friend to be super-cool and totally awesome detectives like you? Please?" She clapped her small hands together, smile growing larger as she pleaded.

L looked down at the large bed upon which the three were seated. He sighed, nibbling at the skin on his thumb as he considered what the fangirl requested. He weighed the options quickly, swiftly calculating statistics and figures before he reached a conclusion. "Yes," he murmured after careful consideration (which, in reality, took all of two seconds). "Yes, that would be fine with me. Perhaps it would be best after I converse with Brittany for her half-hour?"

Naomi squealed even louder than before, throwing her arms up in the air. "Yay!" she screamed, laughing giddily as she threw herself into a hug with L. The detective, though awkward with physical contact, began patting her on the back, his own way of 'hugging back'. Matsuda averted his eyes from the scene, instead choosing to look out the window, watching a squirrel carry what looked to be Misa's favorite hair tie. He wondered where the squirrel got it from. Wait… did that thing have glowing red eyes, or was it just all in his imagination?

And throughout the hugs and pats and incredibility of the shade of squirrels' eyes, something occurred to L, for some strange, unexplained reason.

"You know," he began softly, as if weighing the probability of his hunch, "for some reason, I'm getting the strongest feeling that Light is going through absolute Hell right about now."

Naomi and Matsuda cocked their heads to the side, for some odd reason feeling that L, as always, was right.

**YOU'RE JEALOUS OF THE LINE, FOOL**

"What are you doing with Light?!" Misa demanded, indignantly screaming at the prospect of finding a strange brunette girl with heavy eyeliner sitting in Light's lap and singing a song by the Pussy Cat Dolls. "He's Misa-Misa's boyfriend!"

The blonde idol stormed over to the couch upon which Light and that… _thing_sat. Working up her best Misa-Misa Uber Death Glare™, she leapt over to the couch, knocking the other girl off. She positioned herself to sit on Light instead. "Oh Light," she whined, her toddler-like voice raising an octave higher. "Misa-Misa's so sorry! She should have been here to save you!"

Brittany flew off of the couch, smacking down upon the ground with a loud _THUD_. She picked herself off of the carpeted floor, her head throbbing in pain caused by a mixture of landing face-down on the ground, and the unearthly (and ungodly) high-pitched whines and complaints of Light's blonde little stalker. She shook it off, now _furious_at the blonde- not for getting her away from Light, but for pushing her off of the flipping couch (no pun intended). What if she had smeared her eyeliner?

_No one_ smeared Brittany's eyeliner and lived to tell the tale.

Light, on the other hand, was more awkward than ever, silently praying to _whichever_God that both the brunette and the blonde would just leave him alone. But instead of voicing his opinions so that they may have come true, he simply bit his lip and suffered through Misa's unwanted attention and incessant chattering.

"Are you sure you're okay, Light? Because Misa-Misa can get you anything you need! Oh, how about a back rub?" the blonde idol teased, smiling and covering her mouth as she giggled like an immature schoolgirl.

Light, resisting the almost overwhelming urge to scream and push her off of him, gave a nervous, half-hearted laugh. He was still even flushing from embarrassment. "Ha, um, thanks, Misa, but I don't need anything." He avoided her gaze, looking out of the corner of his eye, still hoping that some sort of savior would be waiting to pounce.

Misa furrowed her eyebrows, pursing her bubble gum pink lips in a full-blown pout. She shifted in her position, now fully straddling the poor auburn-haired boy, her head resting upon his shoulder. She sighed, saying with a breath, "But Misa-Misa wants to help you, Light! Unless…." She picked up her blonde head, her bright blue eyes meeting Light's. "Unless you don't _want_Misa-Misa to help you! Unless you don't want her at all! Unless you were _cheating_on Misa-Misa!"

Oh dear merciful God, Light was afraid that this might happen. In truth, he wanted nothing more than to say, 'Yes, Misa, I am cheating on you. Please remove yourself from my lap and this room and never bother to see me again.' But, you see, the straight A auburn-haired boy was just too nice for this- he couldn't bear to break the poor blonde's heart.

Besides… he wasn't entirely sure what rage the small teen idol was capable of. And he didn't care to find out.

Attempting to put his thoughts in a coherent sequence, he tried to speak again. "No, no, Misa! It's not like that! You know I would never do that to you. You see, it's just that—"

Interrupting his explanation was a sigh from behind the large couch. "Light, dude, just be honest. She was bound to find out sooner or later."

Misa looked up to see the strange brunette girl standing behind Light. Her blue eyes widened at the sight as the other girl leant over and wrapped her arms around Light's neck, nuzzling her face against his silky auburn hair. _Misa's_ boyfriend- _her_ boyfriend's hair. "L-l-light?!" she managed to choke out. "What's going on?! What is she doing?!"

Light turned beet red, both awkward about the fangirl touching him and terrified of Misa's impending wrath. "Mi-Misa," the boy said, almost stuttering and embarrassment (but especially fear), "it's _not_ what it looks like! This girl is just _crazy_, it was L's idea to let them stay, and trust me, we are _not_—"

"Oh, come on, Light," the brunette said softly (for emphasis, of course), still nuzzling against his hair. "You love me, right? So, I mean, you should tell her that."

Misa pulled back a bit, her large eyes filling with tears. Her gaze darted back and forth between Light's uncomfortable yet pleading expression and the _clearly_ affectionate brunette. The blonde's voice started breaking, large tears flowing freely down her pale face. "So…. Light… _is_cheating on Misa-Misa?!"

Before the auburn-haired boy could say that _no_, he was not cheating on her and was in fact being stalked by freaks from a mental hospital, Brittany tightened her grip on him, staring back at Misa in defiance. "Yes," she said, her sadistic side reveling in Misa's anguish. "And he loves me. _Not_ you. He said so himself." She then went back to nuzzling his glossy hair, just for good effect.

However, Misa didn't get up and run off in tears, as Brittany had expected her to. In fact, she just stayed there, open-mouthed and teary-eyed, but unmoving.

But what happened next _totally_went against Brittany's anticipations. Because, though she hated to admit it and was shocked to discover, the blonde threw a _really_ good punch.

**YOU'RE JEALOUS OF THE LINE, FOOL**

It was when Naomi, L, and Matsuda heard something large and probably heavy hit the ground with enough force to make the police officer jump up in his seat (though it didn't take much to do that, admittedly) that they decided to trek into the living room. Naomi had already made L promise to give her and her friend a course on how to be super-cool detectives like him, so she was able to come to terms with the fact that her half-hour with him was over easily enough.

Besides- she got to spend another half-hour with Matsuda. What could be better than that?

So the three of them got up from their seats upon the very large guest bed- L standing in his usual hunch while Naomi excitedly made her way back over to Matsuda. The young police officer flushed, gently putting an arm around the small, dark-skinned girl as she squealed.

With a sigh, the world's top detective said, "I really think that I'm not going to like what I see in here…. Perhaps something to do with my hunch about Light earlier?" He reached towards the door handle, almost hesitating to open it. "In any case," he went on, his tone monotonous and precise, "I must warn you that what's occurring on the other side of the door may not be enjoyable."

Matsuda grimaced- he hated when L took threats like that lightly. Naomi merely blinked.

Reaching out a pale, spidery hand, L grasped the doorknob, turning it gently to the side. The door slipped open, slowly, slowly (in all honesty, the overdramatic stress was getting to be a little too much for our poor Matsuda's chicken heart. Naomi checked the clock that hung on the opposite wall, trying to gauge the time that it took for the door to open. According to her count, it was running on thirty-seven seconds).

What was heard on the other side was almost too much for the young police officer. Naomi, of course, grinned, recognizing the sound of her fellow stalker's voice ringing out in anger and determination. Had L the ability to show more than one emotion at a time, his eyes would have widened at the sheer _color_ of the two fighting girls' vocabulary.

Because of the harsh, insulting, and highly inappropriate language used in the following scene, reader discretion is advised.

"_OUCH! THAT HURT, BARBIE!"_

"_AT LEAST I LOOK MORE LIKE BARBIE THAN HER UGLY LITTLE SISTER, SKIPPER!"_

"_I LIKE SKIPPER! YOU'RE PROBABLY A GENERIC-BRAND BARBIE! LIKE, POLLY OR SOMETHING!"_

"_AT LEAST I HAVE NICE CLOTHES- BETTER THAN THE CRAPPY ONES YOU'RE WEARING, SKIPPER!"_

"_WELL, AT LEAST I'M NOT CAUGHT UP IN STUPID FASHION TRENDS LIKE A COTTON-HEADED NINNYMUGGINS!"_

"_OH NO YOU DI-IN'T!"_

…Just kidding about that 'reader discretion' thing. Actually, it was quite embarrassing, the pathetic insults that the two girls tried to throw at each other.

In any case, it was quite an interesting spectacle, in L's mind, to walk into the living room, seeing both Misa and Brittany engaging in a typical catfight- Misa was trying her best to slap the brunette, who had a bruise just below her cheekbone and was pulling the blonde's hair.

Ah, wimpery at its finest.

Light could be seen still sitting on the couch, wide-eyed and watching the girls hiss and growl and swipe at each other like two mentally-challenged cats fighting over a dead, decaying fish. Not to say that Light was a decaying fish… actually, he'd be a big one. A prize winning bass, colorful and powerful, and—

Actually, it was really in these moments that Light's massive ego was made apparent to him. But, my dear readers, I digress.

Matsuda was watching on in horror, secretly hoping that his beloved Misa-Misa wouldn't get harmed in the fight. The young police officer was still a huge fan of the model's- in fact, he still collected every magazine that featured her on its cover.

Naomi, on the other hand, started laughing hysterically. She punched her fist straight up into the air, cheering on her friend. "Come on, Brittany!" she yelled. "Half-nelson!"

Had the brunette with heavy eyeliner known what a half-nelson was, she still wouldn't have been able to save herself from Misa's (admittedly weak) kick to her shin. The stupid heels that the blonde wore _hurt_ like no one would believe. The teen idol wore a grin of satisfaction upon her lips as the brunette nearly staggered to the ground.

But before Brittany could reach up and aim a punch at Misa's face (she still would have missed, but that's beside the point), she felt something grab her shoulder roughly and force her away from her target. Looking up, she saw Light gripping her upper arm, holding on tightly as he grabbed Misa in the same way. A trace of a blush was still lingering upon his cheeks; his chestnut eyes were hidden by his glossy hair. Both Brittany and Misa looked up at him in wonder, silently asking why he was forcing them apart from their unsuccessful catfight.

Letting out a heavy sigh, the auburn-haired boy glanced from one girl to the next. "Look," he said, his tone trying to be gentle yet firm while he struggled not to let his frustration show. "You guys shouldn't be fighting. This whole thing is stupid." He looked pointedly at the blonde idol. "Misa, I'm not cheating on you. This girl is just psycho." He then turned to face Brittany. "And _you_," he growled, "you need to stop torturing Misa. Besides… no one touches my hair without my permission." Brittany forced a toothy, innocent smile.

With yet another sigh and a roll of his chestnut eyes, the boy turned towards Misa yet again. "Misa, look, maybe it's just better if you go. L promised that these two could meet him and talk to him… apparently that offer extended to me, as well. But having you around right now would just make everything more awkward." Light paused. "And violent," he added after a moment's hesitation. He looked down at the wide-eyed blonde, hoping that his words were at least _somewhat_ comforting to her.

Misa stared, her large blue eyes looking as though they were on the brink of tears. She looked up at her beloved boyfriend, then over to the brunette freak. With a huge, desperate sigh, Misa gazed imploringly up at Light. "Please, can Misa-Misa stay with you, Light?" She snuggled up to his side, rubbing her face against his sleeve much like a cat would. "Misa-Misa will be good! She promises! Please?"

Light groaned, wondering if _all_women were this difficult. "No, Misa," he said softly, trying not to hurt the blonde. Though if his patience was tested for another few minutes, he wouldn't care about manners- he would've kicked her straight to the curb. "Please understand. It'd be better if you went, okay?"

And he thought that the blonde's eyes couldn't grow any wider. But, yes, against Light's expectations, they did. She took in a deep, squeaky inhale, almost too high to be called a 'gasp'. Eyes about to overflow with tears, the girl wrenched herself away from her hold on Light, trying not to cry as she stormed over to the door. Naomi and Brittany couldn't help but watch on in satisfaction.

But before she opened the door, Misa turned back to face the company of people staring after her (though most people in the room didn't care about what she had to say). Narrowing her large blue eyes, she said in her worst Misa-Misa Threatening Snarl™, "But Misa-Misa will be back! You'll see! Misa-Misa won't be kept away from her Light!"

And with that, she opened the door, disappearing into the hallway. The whole thing was rather overdramatic, really, but Misa didn't have time to be worrying about her acting skills. Everyone in the room simply blinked after she left, each retuning to their individual thoughts about cake or squirrels or eyeliner or other such nonsense.

Everyone, that is, but Light. Instead, he stared after Misa with a growing black hole in the pit of his stomach, telling him that there would be Hell to pay when she decided to show up again.

Never in his entire life had he been so terrified of a small blonde girl who referred to herself in the third person.

Crossing her small arms, Naomi cocked her head to the side, wondering what she could do with her next half-hour. Her dark eyes flitted from gazing at Matsuda, to L, to a laptop with a microphone plugged into it….

With a grin, Naomi took Matsuda's hand, leading him out the door and saying something about going to the workroom to play. Matsuda, being Matsuda, dutifully followed.

Once the two exited to room, L let out a sigh, trotting off towards the kitchen for some long-awaited cake. Remembering his promise, he called out, "If you would like to join me for some cake, Brittany, you are welcome. I do believe your half-hour starts now."

The brunette's eyes lit up. "Sweet!" she exclaimed as she tore herself from Light's grasp on her arm. Without second regard to the auburn-haired boy (whom she had just been fighting over, remember), she ran off to the kitchen to join L for cake. Oh, how she loved cake.

And L. The eye-candy was definitely a bonus.

Now abandoned in the empty living room, Light stared after the door, still fearing Misa's overdramatic threat. Sure, he'd remember eventually that the brunette had ditched him for an insomniac who vaguely resembled a panda, but right now, his main concern was his horror caused by the small blonde.

"Hey, you guys?" he called out, biting the corner of his bottom lip. "You don't think that Misa was… you know, _serious_ about that threat, do you?"

And a few moments later, a response came from a certain monotonous voice, mouth seemingly stuffed full of cake. "Light, why must you insist upon talking when no one wants to hear you speak?"

Light clenched his teeth, his hands balling up into tight fists. _God_, he hated that man sometimes.

**YOU'RE JEALOUS OF THE LINE, FOOL**

The workroom on the first floor was dim, lit only by the bright screens of computers that hummed a working song. Multiple monitors lined the walls, each showing live recordings of different floors and rooms. The room was cold and dim, the only sound of life being one of electronic purrs from various laptops or computers.

Naomi and Matsuda walked in, careful not to trip over any of the stairs in the dim lighting. Matsuda pressed his hand to the wall, feeling for the light switch so that he wouldn't fall flat on his face in the darkness. Again.

Overhead lights blinked on, illuminating the room from above. Naomi grinned, her dark eyes gazing at the various pieces of equipment that littered the workroom. She noted the few laptops that lay scattered upon the desktop, one plugged in, one seemingly turned off, and one open, emitting a digital murmur as the screen displayed a screensaver of, quite simply, the letter L. And this one had a microphone…. She beamed.

"Hey Matsu?" she asked, feigning ignorance. "What's this one for?" She pointed to the laptop with the microphone, the beginnings of her plan already working in her mind.

Matsuda blushed at the nickname, looking over to where Naomi was pointing. "Oh, that one?" he asked for verification. Naomi nodded. "That one's the one that L uses to contact other people… you know, when he uses the voice-changer thing. That's what's the microphone is for."

For some reason, Matsuda had the strongest feeling that he _shouldn't_be telling this to the petite fangirl. But with the way she called him 'Matsu' so endearingly? How could he say no to that?

"Awesome!" Naomi exclaimed, clapping her hands happily. She looked over at it, cocking her head to the side ever so slightly. She debated… wondered… thought… calculated… approximated….

Then she decided to just screw it all and ask outright.

"Can I play with it, Matsu?"

The police officer's eyes shot wide open. Oh boy... oh boy, he _really_ didn't expect that to happen. "Y-y-you want to pl-play with it?" he stuttered, turning redder and redder with each passing second. "Ha, Naomi, I don't think that's such a good idea… I mean, we _really_ should ask L before you touch anything, don't you think—"

But alas, poor Matsuda couldn't finish his sentence. Naomi decided then to walk over and hug him, snuggling up to him like a kitten with a ball of yarn. Minus the whole 'claws' deal, of course. But the principle of cuddling remained the same. "Please?" the small, dark-skinned fangirl pleaded, smiling her best cute smile.

Matsuda was no match for the girl's smile of ultimate cuteness and persuasion. Letting out a huge sigh, he hung his head. "Oh… fine. Just… please don't mess anything up!"

Naomi let out a squeal of excitement and delight, throwing her arms up in the air in victory. "Awesome!" she squeaked, running over to the nearest rolling chair as she opened up an application on L's laptop.

As Matsuda watched on, he got a very, _very _bad feeling. Something told him that this would lead to no good; that L and the others would be calling him worse names than an 'incompetent idiot'.

Oh boy… this wasn't good.

**YOU'RE JEALOUS OF THE LINE, FOOL**

"Mmm. This cake's really good, L. Thanks."

"Yes, it is. One of my favorite kinds, actually."

"Strawberry?"

"Of course. Watari was the one who made it. He's quite a skilled baker."

"Really? Dang. Major props to him, man. Major props to him."

"I'll be sure to pass on your enthusiasm."

"You do that."

This sort of mindless chatter kept coming from the kitchen, punctuated by the sound of forks scraping against plates and the occasional someone talking with their mouth full.

It got a bit annoying after a while, really. Or at least it annoyed Light. And, of course, his opinion was really the only one that mattered, now wasn't it?

Said auburn-haired boy was lounging on the couch, one leg crossed over the other while he waited for Brittany and L to be done with their half-hour already. He had things to do besides wait for a panda and a freak to finish a snack (and no, he wasn't jealous at _all_. Really. He wasn't).

His frustration and impatience grew with every passing second, every off-hand comment about cake, and every clang of metal against porcelain dishes. With a low, guttural sigh, the teenager picked himself up and off of the couch, deciding to get some work on the Kira case done.

At least L wouldn't be able to call him a slacker. True, the names of 'pretty boy' and 'narcissus' would stick, but could he deny Light the fact that he _was_ perfect in every way, shape, and form?

No, of course he couldn't. Who on earth could?

In any case, Light made his way to the coffee table, upon which sat one of L's many laptops. Getting rid of the screensaver, Light sighed as he opened up a file, immersing himself in the tedious and painstaking task of going through Yotsuba's employment files.

Truth be told, he was making substantial progress after about ten minutes of working diligently. He was just in the middle of looking at a certain Shingo Mido's employment history when something strange occurred.

All of a sudden, his screen went blank. Bright whiteness overtook the screen, causing Light to squint (lest he ruin his perfect eyesight). Puzzled, the teenager glanced back at the screen, awaiting his programs to come back up. The screen sat unchanging.

But a moment later, it flickered. For a spilt second, Light thought that the laptop was going to shut down on its own, but the screen came back up, just as white as before. But this time, emblazoned in the middle, was a single letter- 'N' in an old English font.

In fact, aside from the difference in letters, it looked exactly like L's logo. As if L was trying to contact him under some other alias.

Was that the case?

Intrigued and perplexed, Light turned on the microphone plugged into the laptop. Quickly plugging in some headphones, he adjusted the volume of the computer, listening to the various hums and clicks of the computer.

It was soft at first, the voice that made its way through Light's headphones. But it got stronger in a few seconds, becoming more coherent with a second attempt.

It was all too familiar to Light- a high-pitched and distorted voice, reverberating through his ears with an electric undertone. It was just the same voice, the same tone that L took on when contacting people unaware of his identity.

But… what could be going on….?

Just as Light was immersing himself in figuring out just _what_ was happening, the voice spoke, strong, clear, and totally coherent.

"I am N," it said, high-pitched and electric. "And I know that you are Kira, Light Yagami."

Light groaned, burying his face in his hands. Today was just _not_ his day.

* * *

**_A/N: _**Okay, I am SO SORRY, YOU GUYS!!

I know that I took forever with this one. I've just had a lot of other things going on, a lot of ideas floating around in mah cranium that have been distracting me from this (take, for instance, "Wifey-Poo" XD).

But I PROMISE that I'll update sooner, okay? I really need to get better about that... practice makes perfect, right?

But in any case, I'd like to thank ALL of you guys who keep on reviewing this story and adding it to your favorites and alerts. You guys ROCK!

And I know this one wasn't quite so good... eh. This one wasn't as funny as the others have been, but I'll think it'll pick back up again. Personally, I'm working towards Chapter Twelve, where all Hell breaks loose XD And no.. you won't find out until it's posted. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Though I still get a kick over the line about mentally-challenged cats. XD I love my strange sense of humor.

Anyways, thank you guys SO MUCH for reading! Please let me know what you think! And hey, if you have any thoughts or ideas, let me know! I've got an outline for this story already, but trust me, it's flexible XD

Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed!


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